The musings of a typical average Singaporean girl, alongside with a little design here and there. Passion for music, typo/photo-graphy.
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Dream
I just feel so... broken.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Dejected
I feel lost. I feel dejected; sad and depressed. I thought filling up my days with things to do would make me feel better, allowing me to not over-think and make myself sad. Yes, I know I have a bad habit of over-thinking and making me feel sad in the end.
It always felt like you were the busy one, having job and career. For me, currently I'm like the bum, doing nothing and just staying home, twiddling my fingers. It felt nice to be able to unwind, not having anything to do, catching up with old friends and all. But it also made me feel useless, forgotten. I feel worthless. It made me feel like you didn't care, anymore. You were too caught up in your new post, your new passion. Not sure when, but I realised that things have changed, old days were gone. We changed.
We aren't able to talk like we used to. We aren't able to be happy with the plain fact that we're just together. When was the last time we truly felt happy being beside each other? Our conversations nowadays are just the 'on-the-surface' talks. No true emotions, no actual heart-to-heart talks anymore. It's just plain updating each other. Why so? All cuz of the plain fact that we're afraid to hurt each other, the fact that we do not want to jeopardise the relationship. So instead of putting it on the table and coming upfront about it, we just swallow it down. And that in turn, becomes a whole new problem. Each time we talk, it feels like tiny tiny bits of glass shards thrown at me. Some just fall off, some creating a small little cut but heals up in no time at all. And in turn, I spew nonsensical words at you, not thinking before speaking. But you never seem to take notice of it. You never seem to take me seriously.
I don't know if it's about your career. I have never seen it as a threat or a problem. I was always proud of the fact that you were happy with where you are and the decisions you make. I was always glad that you enjoyed what you were doing. It's always a joy to see you smiling when you talk about your work. Right now, with the little rough patches that you're facing at work, obviously you're not feeling that happy and excited. And the little emotions and problems you encounter, are affecting me little by little.
I thought that you were not trying hard enough, that you used to try harder. But now I know that all along, you were trying equally hard. Things have just gotten in the way. Maybe, it's got to do with the fact that we're moving on to another milestone. I have no idea of what to expect anymore. Have I changed? This is a question that constantly lingers in my head. Did I let you change me?
It's like these things blows up really unproportionally when unsolved. I feel tired. What if I said that I'm done here?
It always felt like you were the busy one, having job and career. For me, currently I'm like the bum, doing nothing and just staying home, twiddling my fingers. It felt nice to be able to unwind, not having anything to do, catching up with old friends and all. But it also made me feel useless, forgotten. I feel worthless. It made me feel like you didn't care, anymore. You were too caught up in your new post, your new passion. Not sure when, but I realised that things have changed, old days were gone. We changed.
We aren't able to talk like we used to. We aren't able to be happy with the plain fact that we're just together. When was the last time we truly felt happy being beside each other? Our conversations nowadays are just the 'on-the-surface' talks. No true emotions, no actual heart-to-heart talks anymore. It's just plain updating each other. Why so? All cuz of the plain fact that we're afraid to hurt each other, the fact that we do not want to jeopardise the relationship. So instead of putting it on the table and coming upfront about it, we just swallow it down. And that in turn, becomes a whole new problem. Each time we talk, it feels like tiny tiny bits of glass shards thrown at me. Some just fall off, some creating a small little cut but heals up in no time at all. And in turn, I spew nonsensical words at you, not thinking before speaking. But you never seem to take notice of it. You never seem to take me seriously.
I don't know if it's about your career. I have never seen it as a threat or a problem. I was always proud of the fact that you were happy with where you are and the decisions you make. I was always glad that you enjoyed what you were doing. It's always a joy to see you smiling when you talk about your work. Right now, with the little rough patches that you're facing at work, obviously you're not feeling that happy and excited. And the little emotions and problems you encounter, are affecting me little by little.
I thought that you were not trying hard enough, that you used to try harder. But now I know that all along, you were trying equally hard. Things have just gotten in the way. Maybe, it's got to do with the fact that we're moving on to another milestone. I have no idea of what to expect anymore. Have I changed? This is a question that constantly lingers in my head. Did I let you change me?
It's like these things blows up really unproportionally when unsolved. I feel tired. What if I said that I'm done here?
Friday, March 09, 2012
Rise Against
Can't sleep, so came up with this. Song has been stuck in my head for the whole week! These nights are my Rise Against night.
Friday, March 02, 2012
GDMF
You (guys) suck.
Family? My ass.
Family? My ass.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Homey moey
Hello March! I think this is my new obsession. GIFs. Teehee, but they are so fun to make and look at! The one with Prada always make me smile. Now I've also learnt to make gifs from videos. That's what happen when you stay home.
Anyway! Managed to catch these guys ☝ a few days back, alongside with guys from 98 Degrees and A1. Ahhhh, 90's boy band music. I was still a young kid listening to my sister's cds. Funny thing is, I was the only one that liked Blue, my sisters didn't. Bwahaha. I think the boy band era is coming back. Not 'boys' anymore though. HAHA.